Before You Go
by imaginecreatebefall
Summary: There's an emotional pull within Clarke on what to do after the defeat of Mount Weather. Unlike Lexa, she lets her emotions guide her and finds herself face to face with the Commander again. But which emotion will take over now that they are reunited.


_**So, this is another take from after 2x15 (and after we heard Lexa wouldn't be in the finale). I know the last fic I did was also after 2x15, but again, this is another take on it that I couldn't get out of my head. There's a little more angst and it's also rated M.**_

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"Take me to her," Clarke demanded. Indra glared at her, not appreciating Clarke's sharp tongue, but nodded and began guiding her away from Mount Weather. The battle was unpredictable to say the least. After Lexa left her, Clarke stared at the entrance to Mount Weather wishing it would fall and crush her, and even that wouldn't compare to the needles threading in and out of her heart from Lexa's betrayal. Somehow, Clarke willed herself to continue the now suicide mission to rescue her people, coming up with broken idea after broken idea.

Just as Clarke was about to lose all hope, Indra, Lincoln and about a dozen Grounders came storming up through the tunnels, somehow finding a way in, crying, Jus Drein Jus Daun. Evidently, retreating didn't suit them, or so Clarke thought. The fight still heavily favored the Mountain Men, but the surprise attack from the Grounders was enough to group her people with weapons and attack from the opposite angle. Kill or be killed, and although there were loses on all sides, Clarke and her people finally walked out of the stone cage and into the bitter night.

Clarke thanked Indra for returning with Lincoln and the others, but her cold stare gave away the reason for her return. She was ordered to. Clarke didn't know what to make of any of that, and let whatever fell from her mouth decide her fate. _"Take me to her_," was the only thing to come out of her mouth. And so, she went with Indra and the half dozen Grounders still alive while Lincoln stayed behind with Octavia to lead the Sky people to safety. Clarke heard cries calling her back to her people, but she didn't even look in their direction, just continued moving forward, back to Lexa.

Clarke and Indra didn't exchange any words as they hiked for hours back to the camp. It was probably best. She didn't want to test Indra's patience. Indra was loyal to Lexa and would die before going back on her command, but like Gustus, she was beginning to see Clarke as a threat to Lexa's safety. So she kept her mouth shut and marched on.

Flashes of Lexa leaving came to her as they trekked through the woods. At the time, Clarke didn't hear anything, except that the battle plans had changed and that the Grounders were retreating. Going over Lexa's words now, Clarke understood why Lexa did what she did, but she still left her. Lexa was the Commander, leader of the Grounders, and her duty was to protect her people, but she still left her. Taking the deal saved possibly hundreds of lives, including Clarke's own people trying to fight their way into Mount Weather, but she still left her. Lexa had never lied about who she was, and how she commanded with her head, not her heart or emotions, but she still left her.

The camp was quiet upon their arrival taking Clarke by surprise. They had won, the Grounders had rescued their people from the mountain with very few casualties, yet there were no signs of celebration.

"Where is everyone?" Clarke chanced, asking Indra.

"Resting," came a simple response.

"You guys don't celebrate?" Clarke pressed on.

"Not when we have a long journey in front of us."

Clarke stopped in her tracks, but Indra ignored her and kept going forcing Clarke to hurry back up to her side even though she would be safe now that they were entering the camp. "What journey?"

"You know what journey." Indra replied with an abrupt turn. "And don't you do anything to steer Heda from her path from here on forward." Indra finished, her eyes blazing down at her.

Indra turned back around and told the guards to let her pass as they came upon Lexa's tent, but Clarke hesitated. She didn't know how to react to Lexa. Yes, she left her alone to handle the mountain, but then quietly sent her help. Now the Grounders were gearing up to head to the Capital, leaving much sooner than Clarke anticipated. What did that mean for them or her people? Again, Clarke decided not to think and go with it as she brushed through the folds of Lexa's tent. Upon seeing her though, only one emotion soured through Clarke's veins; anger.

Lexa turned as soon as Clarke entered and stared at her with a curtained emotion. She had cleaned up, her hair still wet as it fell down the length of her back, her face wiped clean with no traces of blood or war paint, just a young innocent woman gazing back her. She wore a tight black tank top with black pants, always prepared for anything. Clarke's eyes ate up the sight of her, but her anger took over her desire as she sprang at the Commander.

Lexa stayed still and braced herself as Clarke approached shoving at her chest.

"You left me," she yelled, Lexa's robotic expression at Mount Weather taking over her mind as she pounded on Lexa's chest over and over again, pushing her until the back of her legs caught the table.

"You left me," Clarke continued, beginning to cry as she continued to throw punches at Lexa's chest, the Commander taking blow after blow until Clarke collapsed into her. Clarke took Lexa's black tank in both fists still lightly shoving at her as tears streamed down her face.

"You left me," she muffled one last time into Lexa's balled up shirt.

"I didn't want to," Lexa mumbled.

Clarke glanced up into Lexa's eyes that had watered over as well. "Then why did you?"

"I needed to. It wasn't about what I wanted; it was about the best option for my people. If there was any other way, I would have taken it. I'm sorry."

"I know," Clarke choked out, falling back into Lexa who carefully brought her hand up to her back, but as soon as she touched Clarke her other arm came around and she wrapped Clarke tightly into her.

"I'm glad you're safe," Lexa whispered into her blonde strands.

"Why didn't you come back with Indra?" Clarke questioned clinging to her.

"I couldn't, besides Indra forbade it."

Clarke gently pushed back with furrowed brows, shining a smirk of a smile. "You take orders from Indra now?"

Lexa slithered out a quiet grin before responding, "No, but Indra helped me see that if she and the other Grounders were discovered, I could argue that they went against my orders. If I were to go and get discovered, there would be no justification, _everything_ I did would have been all for nothing and my people would fall prey to the mountain all over again."

Clarke fell back into Lexa's arms and nodded into her chest before jolting back up and shoving Lexa once more, taking the Commander off guard this time. "You're going to the Capital tomorrow?"

"Yes," she replied sadly, "I think it's best our people take a break from one another. Not every Sky person will understand why I took that deal."

Clarke nodded in understanding once again. "You're probably right. I'll try my best to have them see it through your eyes, that is, when I'm done being angry with you."

Lexa smirked, "Isn't that what all the punching was about?"

Clarke glared at Lexa hitting her once more. "No," she added sternly.

"Then what else can I do to help you get pass this, Clarke, leader of the Sky people?"

Clarke stared into Lexa's eyes. The last twenty-four hours twisted and turned her emotions to the point of insanity. She had told Lexa she wasn't ready to be with anyone and she met it, at least she thought she did until Lexa walked away leaving her with an emotional stabbed pain equal to that of killing Finn. Then Indra appeared filling her lungs up with hope. She and Lexa had grown together these last few weeks, completing each other in ways that most people would never find in another person.

Lexa stood before her patiently waiting for Clarke's response, searching her eyes for the answer she knew Clarke would soon find. This time, Clarke reached up and took Lexa's mouth with hers, but what started as gentle and kind the day before melted away, becoming an urgency to feel every part of Lexa before she had to say goodbye. Clarke took Lexa's face with both hands diving deeper into the Commander taking away her air as their tongues pushed out the remaining resentment she felt and replaced it with a loving need.

Clarke's hands fell to Lexa's shoulders, raking her nails down her arms until Lexa's breath hitched. "Get on the table," Clarke demanded before quickly finding her mouth again. The Commander obeyed without question causing Clarke to grin into the kiss as she swiped away the failed battle plans. Clarke dug her fingers into Lexa's inner thighs, clawing down on them until Lexa released a whimper. "Take them off." Clarke instructed keeping their eyes locked as Lexa hitched her body up and slipped her pants down to Clarke's hands, who tore them and anything else below Lexa's waist off so fast Lexa almost went with them, but Clarke's hand shot up to Lexa's chest halting the momentum and immediately reclaimed Lexa's mouth as she leaned forward.

Clarke stepped up and wrapped Lexa's legs around her waist wanting to keep their bodies close as Lexa struggled with her jacket. Clarke smiled at the Commander's struggle, backing up for a moment as Lexa wiggled the jacket free, quickly followed by Clarke's swift removal of her shirt. This time as they went to bring their mouths back, Clarke stopped abruptly with their lips hovering over each others.

"So, you really care?" Clarke asked their chest pounding erratically as one.

"More than I should," Lexa mumbled, her heart pouring out from her eyes. Clarke's mouth quickly found hers wanting to feel Lexa's words. The Commander took her fingers and tangled them through Clarke's hair then down her back, keeping them close as Clarke's hands explored the rest of Lexa's body carefully memorizing the softness mixed in with a few roughed over scars before journeying between her legs. As one hand took command of Lexa in new ways the other snagged the back of Lexa's head, wanting to taste the sounds she made as her fingers curved up and in.

Their bodies became slick as Clarke increased her speed, leaning back momentarily to gaze at Lexa's unusual vulnerable state. She wondered how many had ever seen the Commander in such an open, free light, watching as Lexa's head rose with each new thrust, her mouth parting asking silently for more as her skin glistening over. Clarke brought her mouth down to Lexa's shoulder and licked all the way up to her ear, her own heavy breathing encouraging Lexa to release everything she had to seal away from the world. With one final cry, Clarke's name fell from her lips as her body fell limp in Clarke's arms. They held each other there for what felt like days, afraid to let the other go, reveling in an intimacy neither one of them was able to experience before.

"Aren't I supposed to make it up to you?" Lexa breathed in her ear.

Clarke leaned back, her hand now creating small circles on Lexa's legs. "You will, when you return."

Lexa stared back, her hands clinging to Clarke refusing to loosen her hold. "What do you mean?" she asked making Clarke smile.

"There's a lot to be done now. Once we know the Mountain is secured, our people will be moving in, restoring the good held within it and gather any information left behind, while you head to the Capital. If you truly care about me, you'll return once things settle here and explain to my people why you took that deal. There's only so much I can do. In the end, it has to come from you. Make them understand. Make them see what I see. The only way for us to be together is for our people to live amongst each other in peace, unafraid that the other might turn at a moment's notice."

"That sounds like it might take a while." Lexa responded as her hand fell on Clarke's, intertwining their fingers together.

Clarke's smile grew as she leaned in to give Lexa a reassuring kiss. "It takes as long as it takes."

Lexa hummed as she brought Clarke into her once more, both absorbing what they could of this moment, before gathering their clothes. As much as Clarke wanted to stay, she knew if she didn't leave now, she never would. Lexa nodded understanding and walked her out the tent, both taking one last gaze at the other, saying more now with a simple look than anything said between them these last few days. Their time would come, just not yet.


End file.
